The summer of 2017 was such an unparalleled moment in time for me. It represented such a time of change, transition, and uncertainty for me. It would mark the last summer my entire group of friends from high school and I would share. We had all grown so much after being at our respective schools for the past years but when we all linked up again, it was as if time had stood still and we connected seamlessly. We enjoyed getting into all kinds of shenanigans that summer but the most vital part to our adventures? The copious amounts of weed we smoked? Close. But no. It was the debut effort by a then-rising SZA that served as the perfect soundtrack to our summer.
My first experience with SZA came in the form of the Travis Scott assisted Love Galore which only further piqued my interest to know more about the woman who was asking the relevant questions on the other end of my headphones. Because honestly, WHY would you bother me when you know you don’t want me? When you know you got a woman??? It was as if this woman somehow had access to my group chat and then wrote and performed all of the thoughts and emotions I was then incapable of communicating to.
You know when you go to church and perhaps you haven’t been in awhile and then you start feeling like the pastor is preaching the sermon specifically to/for you? That’s what listening to this album felt (and still feels) like. I found myself dating a man in 2017 who had a girlfriend, unbeknownst to me which made The Weekend feel like a call to action to rectify the mess in my love life. Prom spoke to my desire to live in the moment in a time where everyone around me was planning their futures so intensely.
20 Something and Broken Clocks get their own paragraph because they are simply those girls. 20 Something emphasized the fact that just as much of our paths in life are alike, they’re equally different which is ok. We strive to be so settled and established in our 20s because society has convinced us that if you don’t have the job, the ring, the kids, or the house by 30 then you’re a failure. I’ve learned to be kinder to myself in these last 4 years because I’ve made efforts to acknowledge the great things I AM doing to better myself. Broken Clocks speaks to me because I’m such a reflective person and there’s something so relatable to SZA’s decision to move on from old jobs and lover and being content with it within one verse and still feeling conflicted wondering if you ultimately made the best decision for yourself.
So on this fourth anniversary of such a revolutionary and blockbuster coming of age album I want to thank you SZA, from the bottom of my heart for making me feel seen and heard. For validating me. For encouraging me to embrace my vulnerability. Prompting me to let the wall down and letting people in every once and again. This album has been therapeutic. It’s been my safe space. It has hurt and healed me. We’re a generation forever indebted to you, Solana. Ctrl isn’t always guaranteed in life but I’ve learned sometimes losing control is often the best way to exhibit having it.
The Sounds of Music 